Yours jokes
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.