Yours jokes

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

"Is your refiger running?"

"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Your head looks like a joke.

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.

Doctor: I see your point!

Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?

Palpatine: Grew it.

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!