Yours jokes
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.