Yours jokes
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Memes
Who would've known?
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
When your plane heads for New York...
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”