Yours jokes

Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.