Yours jokes
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.