Yours jokes
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
How hot do pistons burn?
Hot enough to burn your house down.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.