Yours jokes
Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.
Q: What boofa?
A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Take a few steps back like your hairline.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.