Yours jokes

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.

This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.

/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.