Yours jokes

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

5+2 = 7

But 4+3 also = 7

So take your own path.

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.

Mom, I’m pregnant.

Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

You: What you doing?

I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"