You're jokes

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.

Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.

What did the booty say when it was asked to help?

"I've got your backside covered!"

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

Your mama is so fat, the Marvel Universe disappeared.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!

"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.

An argument in the Middle East.

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You're pointless!"

Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Your momma!