You're jokes
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!