You're jokes
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Your hairline is so far back that the United States got a front row seat!
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.