You're jokes
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What goes moo? Cow.
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You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Your Nan is dead.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Your life is the joke.
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?