You're jokes
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.
I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.
You're adopted.
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.
2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."