You're jokes
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Your hairline is so bent that Bob the Builder couldn't fix it.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Your love life.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.