You're

You're jokes

Mom

  • Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

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  • Dad

  • Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

    Mama

  • Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

    Truck

  • How do you disappoint people in Africa?

    Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

    But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

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  • Woman

  • If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

    If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

    Hairline

  • Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

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  • Heart

  • Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

    Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

    Boy: “Yeah, why?”

    Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”