You're jokes
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? (You're a poo.)
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The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
What's your favorite Fortnite location? Mine is Tilted Toers. 😂