You're jokes

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!

Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.

Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.

"Knock, knock."

"Orphan: Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

What is your true crush?

A soda crush.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.

Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.

"Beast Boy Four"