You're jokes
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
Your mom gay.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.