You're jokes
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (😟): What's wrong?
Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...
Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.