You're jokes
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?
Was your birthday?
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.