You're jokes
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
Which sex position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
You're a joke!
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was OAhHhPrhhHK.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*