You're jokes

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Your mama so white that her first number was 911.

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.

What would you name your pet rabbit?

Harry.

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

You're a joke!

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."