You're jokes
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Memes
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!