You're jokes
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.