You're jokes
Your mom #69.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Memes
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!