You're jokes
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Your mom and your dad.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."