You're jokes

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"

Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.