You're jokes
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ๐๐ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ๐๐
Person with no arms: ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
!!๏ธ!!๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐๐ฆ SHIT!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐ฉ๐ AMONG ๐ฐ US ๐บ๐ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐ฑ! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ AMONG ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ US ๐จ IS THE BEST ๐๐ฏ FUCKING ๐ฆ๐๐ GAME ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ RED ๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐ พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR ๐ CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think ๐ค it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" ๐
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
Sans: โpokes brother with rulerโ
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
If youโve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"