You're

You're jokes

Rape

80 views ·

How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!

Height

25 views ·

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Hide-and-seek

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

Technology

12 views ·

My grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology." I said, "We will see about that," and I unplugged his life support.

Harry Potter

37 views ·

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Sister

3 views ·

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Pedophile

237 views ·

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

Number

3 views ·

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Dad

1 view ·

I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.