If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.
You Jokes
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Never gonna give you up.
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
POV: you
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Your hairline went so back, you had to cry to your mama!
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
sad sad sad
now you laugh and like
thank you!
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
When you fail art school.
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.