You jokes
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call a Dino stripper?
A dinowhore.
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.