Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
You Jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
