You jokes

How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo!

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

What do you call a toothless bear?

A gummy bear.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

Weedle will make you high.

What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?

Zeedonk.

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.