You jokes

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

Wife: Honey, I love you.

Husband: I love you all.

Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.

Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.

What do you call a toothless bear?

A gummy bear.