You jokes

Ready when you are, KK.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.

Thank you, nurse!

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

What did the tiger say to the bunny?

Nice to meat you!

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.

A: Is that why I never see you sweat?

What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.

What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?

Hippo-POT-amus!

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.

What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.

"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"