You jokes
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
What do you call a straight orphan?
A no homeo.
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.