How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
You Jokes
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
