You jokes

You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.

Thank you, nurse!

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

You: What you doing?

I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you a lot!

What do you call a PEIS?

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.