You jokes
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
What do you call a bored robot?
A “sigh”-borg.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.