What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
You Jokes
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
