You jokes
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"