You jokes
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?