You jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
Memes
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
Thank you guys for 6 whole followers! I'm so happy!
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."