You jokes

Infection

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Yeast infection

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

Cow

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

Slut

I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!

Memes

Dog

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Egg

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Event

Have you heard of the current event in Africa?

It’s known as the Hunger Games.

Orphan

Are you angry?

Go bully an orphan!

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Portal

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Cube

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

Wheelchair

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Magazine

What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?

Reload and keep firing!

Blonde

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

You pull the pin and throw it back!