You jokes
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Memes
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.