You jokes
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.