You jokes
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Memes
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.