You jokes

What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?

A: Tuba-glue.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi.

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.