You jokes
I did a walk today and had dinner 🍴 night time to do you a good dinner 🍴 night and dinner 🍴 night. I love 💕 was the chicken 🍗 I had to go get dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night time to be good to get a night sleep 💤 night night fun day tomorrow.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
Hi, how are you doing?
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!
What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
You know buddy, that is really...
boroning.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!