You jokes
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.
Why did you say hi?
Because you wanted to.
Did you know
What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.