You jokes
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
You suck!
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk, walk home? Was your night night? You had fun? I had dinner, night time, and a tree. I had dinner. Is it a magic time? Dinner! I have been home. Was good.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.