You jokes

What time is it when you cannot do anything?

You

You

You're the cow.

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?

He was all right.

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.

My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?

What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones!

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

Did you know some people don't put on masks because they wanna act like something? Some put masks on to show their depression and feeling.

"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.

What do you call a binder with no rings?

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.

What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.