You jokes
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
Memes
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
What do you call a gay guy on fire?
LGBBQ
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.