You jokes

Water

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

Mirror

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Tree

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

Memes

Weight

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Biden

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

Canoe

Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.

Tennis

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.

Earring

When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣

Orphan

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Titanic

What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?

"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"

School

Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?

Kid

What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?

A zombie Apocalypse!

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟

Trash

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

Orphan

What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.