You jokes

Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?

Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?

Ruberto

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a dog with no tail?

A tail-less dog.

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Why are you gay? Because I said so!

People love you.

Don't die.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?

What did the American say to the Russian?

"Why are you always Russian?"

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.

Really, then give me a pond of water.

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

What do you call a bad bull?

A bully.

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!

“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”

“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.