You jokes

What do you call a communist?

Braxton.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

Pokémon!

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

What are you on? YouTube.

You're a bish, and you are too!