You jokes

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.

What's SoDN?

Suck on deez nuts.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard.

You are so dumb.

Like this if you like me.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.