You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
You are so cat.
Memes
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!