What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
You Jokes
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the wall say to the wall?
"Meet you at the corner."
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
You are so cat.
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.