You jokes
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
U were accidental.
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
Memes
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.