Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
You Jokes
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."