You jokes

If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?

A European.

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.

What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?

Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂

"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."

What do you call a Chinese boxer?

U lamb chow.

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?

What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?

Answer: Attorney General William Barr!

I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.

I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.

What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

"Fish, why you no fly?"

"I don't like being caught naked."

What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT.