You jokes
Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
How do you call a very long terrorist?
9/11.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."