You jokes
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
You guys are idiots!
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Hi, how are you today?
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.