You jokes
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
You guys are idiots!
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.