You jokes
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
Like if you are emo.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
That's kinda sus, you know?
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.