You jokes
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
You guys are idiots!
Memes
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
What do you call a retard in the military?
Special forces.