You jokes

You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

What did the boy say to the noose?

"Can you please tie me."

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Why are some people African?

Because genes, you dummy!

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

What do you call a kid in a hot tub?

Vegetable soup.

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?

Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.

Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

People love you.

Don't die.

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.

Really, then give me a pond of water.

What do you call a bad bull?

A bully.