You jokes
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
Memes
What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.